telawrence:

“They often ask ‘Why the R.A.F.?’ and I don’t know. Only I have tried it, & liked it as much after trying it as I did before. The difference between Army & Air is that between earth & air: no less. I only came into the army in the hope of earning my restoration to the R.A.F. and now the third year is running on, and I’m as far away as ever. It must be the ranks, for I’m afraid of being loose or independent. The rails, & rules & necessary subordination are so many comforts. Impossible is a long word in human dealings: but it feels to me impossible that I should ever assume responsibility or authority again. No doubt any great crises would change my mind: but certainly the necessity of living won’t. I’d rather be dead than hire out my wits to anyone importantly. ”

- T.E. Lawrence to John Buchan, 1925